– Don’t throw your pregnancy test away before the full three minutes is up.
– Unless there is a rush on the grocery store pending a zombie-virus outbreak, never take your kids shopping.
– If your toddler is going to chew on a Band-Aid, hope it’s one found inside the community swimming pools chlorinated pool and not one found in their locker room.
– Never throw up in a cookie sheet.
– Things can always get worse. You could discover your child playing with a used tampon applicator. It’s not a whistle, sweetie.
– And most importantly, the moment one of your children is seriously ill, forget about everything else. You have the greatest honor in the world – being a Mom.